Last Wish

So now that I'm trying to change and start a new fuckin life. Well I've fuckin decide that I'd be fuckin good :) Because there's this 2 specific songs (guess what?) that made me cry... reasons? I remember my late grandmother. Wait I dont want to be dramatic right now, coz ThankGodItsFriday TODAY! everyone should be happy... well except the fact that all Miriam High School Students shall study REALLY REALLY HARD to earn a better grades this 2nd to the last quarter of this school year. Anyway so yeah, those 2 specific song is meant for every listener to be happy or be relaxed in some ways, but to me, it's really different, coz I can remember clearly that it was the night before my grandmother died that I was downloading those two music, and I prefer to finish it first rather than visiting my lola, it's not that I'm bad... well maybe, yeah, in some way, but guys, I just want you all to know I LOVE HER SO MUCH! and I think that time my brother who'd drive us couldn't wait too long coz he has some work that time. So yeah, I just told to myself, maybe I'd visit her tommorow instead... little did I know that, that same night was the last night I'd see my grandmother's smile...

From that moment, I tasted my first experience from grief. And from that moment, I realized that anytime... I might probably die too, only God knows...


and since I dont know when and where I might probably die [dear Lord, please...not now :( ] I realized that I should do more good deeds, not only because I wanted to enter heaven, but because I wanted this DREAM to come true...

Idealistic as it seems [and please guys, walang kokontra. I'm sincere with this] I WANTED TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE. A DIFFERENCE THAT WOULD CHANGE EVERYONE'S PERSPECTIVE. And that perspective I want to change is that each and everyone of us, weird or not, poor or rich, dumb or intelligent...we are one.

I know, everyone is already aware of that world-wide problem, but then, I still see people who can't make that effort to be one with everyone... Well I'm guilty... But today, this christmas, I'll try my very very best to do that.... I swear, I'LL TRY!


I want to be known, not only as the 'kenkoy' Joy, but I want to be known as the one who strive for that dream I wish to come true...


Okay mukha ng speech to. But really. N joke. HAHA. Mukha bang di convincing?


Sana may time pa kayo para basahin to. I know it's kinda waste of the time. HAHA

But you know if I ever did die to die (knock on wood) I want everyone to wear... yellow. It's my fave color :P I'm JOYful kasi eh. hahaha Okay corny na... wait P.S I'm not suicidal okay? so please dont think I'm attempting one. Tapos ayoko yun mga typical songs for grief, like 'Di Kita malilimutan' and stuff. I want lively musical song....Everyone knows I love this song right? "Sakura Kiss" (piano version) ayun! Please lang! hahaha and Shissou. Pag pasensyahan nyo na kung Japanese. Yun 2 songs na yan kasi yun tinutukoy ko kanina. Yun songs I always listen to when my grandmother died. Everytime I close my eyes while listening to that song, I felt that she was just right there, I dont know why... Naiiyak ako kasi ang dami kong dreams for her before she died and sayang she wouldnt be able to be in it. :( So yeah, and wish ko talaga LAHAT NG KAKILALA KO MAKITA KO MAN LANG before I die... as in LAHAT from my childhood days upto the present. I want those people who have been a part of my life to be with me before I finally close my eyes. HAHAHA


OKAY enough drama. Wala kasi akong magawa. So here I am, typing, typing... typing...until I have no more words left on my mind... BLAH. OUT!